What does it mean to be fat..?

Oh man. The word “fat” can be pretty taboo. Calling someone fat is derogatory, possibly discriminatory and will probably get you labeled as a fat-shamer, if you dare to use it. The word is a lexical loaded-gun and you should be VERY careful, should you choose to point it at someone. I believe the hot-button nature of the word to be due to

the fact that “fat” is almost never used without some type of judgment attached. When we use the word relative to ourselves, it is still so. I don’t think I’ve ever said “I’m fat” about myself and meant anything positive by it nor did anything productive come of it. If I’m saying it to myself, it’s usually an occasion that spirals into, at best, being disappointed in myself for NOT being leaner.  Most of the time, if I say it aloud, it’s meant to solicit some type of opposing argument. “Oh NO you are NOT fat. You look great.” I am seeking external validation to soothe my own self-worth issues. I suppose at some point in my life I have managed to say the words “I’m fat,” and had them be just a state of the union. Actually, no I haven’t. It’s essentially the same reason the words hurt when they come from someone else. We are harshly judging ourselves. We are letting “fat” define us. “I am fat.” It’s us having taken ownership of the negative state that people have come to believe fat is.

I’d like to propose a reframe. What if “fat” was neutral? Instead of being something that we are – “I am fat” – what if it’s just not that different from needing a hair cut? Nobody freaks out when they’re told, “Your hair is getting long.” They just either get a haircut, or they don’t. Whatever, man. What if we have just managed to accumulate some extra stored fuel on our bodies. I mean, it’s not that different. Hey, I could hibernate ALL winter and survive being buried alive for at least like 7 or 8 weeks, maybe more (provided I have access to a hydration source.) That’s not so bad, actually, and depending on the circumstances, could work out to my advantage from survival/primal perspective.

But for some reason, having some excess stored fuel on our bodies has become a statement about the kind of person we are..?! That’s kind of whack. Fat doesn’t define us. Fat is neutral. It literally is extra energy for your body to use, stored on your body. It doesn’t have a conscience or a purpose and it isn’t trying to ruin your health or your sex life. (Why the fat is there is a very long complex subject that I’ll have to go into another day.) And you want the fat to be neutral. Thinking of fat in neutral terms helps you get to a mental state of acceptance. Once I can accept where I am, I can then begin to move forward and make positive lasting changes.

If we hate the fat and hate who we are as fat, that can sometimes work as a negative stimulus. And don’t get me wrong, negative stimulus can work. Lord knows it worked for me… for a while. But, negative stimulus is exhausting. “I hate who I am and I need to be someone different so I torture myself in the gym as a punishment for not being ___(insert desired state here)___.”  For SO many people, exercise is a form of penance performed upon the body for it not being the body they want. The problem with this strategy is that for a large percentage of people, this is not sustainable, not only because it’s exhausting but because it’s just plain miserable. One of my favorite quotes is, “I workout because I love my body, not because I hate it.” I am not sure when it happened, but sometime during my fitness journey (I swear I’m not a hippie lol) I discovered the profound appreciation I have for my body.  Now, instead of thinking of healthy eating as deprivation, it’s a reward to my body for moving me around. Instead of exercise as punishment, it’s where my body gets to joyfully show me what it can do. My body carries me through my life so capably, so dependably. Sometimes it gets sick or hurt but it always heals. It even stores up fuel in case I run out of food!! It is the vessel that carries my soul and allows me to have a conscious existence. And for so long, I never thanked it, I only punished it. But not anymore, and I have to say I feel like my body and I could do this exercise and nutrition thing for a long, long time.
🙂